WHAT IS LOVE? (4)

When I joined active politics in 1999, my eyes opened to the three kinds of love that exist in politics...

Genuine Love.

Fake Love.

Misguided Love. 

All three are needed in the life of a real politician. You need those who do not love you because of what you give them, those whose love is for sale, and those who only love you because your face looks good on your campaign posters. 

The first Group can be harsh in telling you the truth. Some of them will openly tell you not to waste your money, you will not win. But they will never leave your side no matter what, and they will never keep quiet either.

The second Group will tell you all the sweet things you want to hear about your campaign, how the other political camps are scared of you, and may be planning to kill you. If this information does not attract any money from you, they will sell same to the other camp about you. They know you're not the one, but they won't dare tell you. Because the benefit of the lies outweighs the value of the relationship. 

The last Group is the loudest and most important, they only know you from posters, or stories they've heard about you, but are willing to die for you. They don't care if you're competent or not, so long as you are perceived and accepted to be their candidate by their village elders. Usually, this group only sees you once every four years, but if another candidate with a better campaign poster shows up, they will dump you without thinking twice. 

For me, love is not something you MUST EXPECT from people because you loved them first. It is something you consistently do because it makes you happy. 

Real love is delivered with genuine consistency. 

I saw a video where someone likened love to a workout routine. Some of us quit working out because we do not see any result in the short term, what we do not know is that the desired result lies in consistency. We are always impatient and in a hurry. 

Our impatience is why we sometimes rush into or out of relationships before we even spend enough time to study and know the other person. 

We feel that since we cannot see results, or measure it, it's not working. So we quit. 

When you constantly expect instant gratification, like you get when licking ice cream, you will always be disappointed in the end. Love is your personal decision to stake your emotions, not what is expected of others. 

Always we choose the ones we love, and we ignore those who love us. We always look for our happiness while killing the happiness of someone who loves us. 

Some people prioritize their wives over their mothers. 

Some people do not sacrifice anything but would force others to sacrifice everything. Because LOVE is involved.

People are being exploited in the name of sacrificing for love. I have been used as a taxi driver and a bank teller before, though I am still waiting for God to judge that case. But it is painful to strongly feel something for someone and be willing to do anything for them while the outcome is never encouraging. 

Whenever you decide to fall in love with another person, do not EXPECT them to feel the same way immediately. Two people cannot fall in love at the same time. It will take time and a lot of pain before they genuinely love you back. Your job will be to remain consistent if you deeply believe this is what you want. 

Investing in a relationship is like investing in a political ambition, you should never fall for the assurance givers, nor discard those who tell you the painful truth. There's a 50/50 chance that you are either being played or genuinely loved. 

I have never loved completely, and it has always worked in my favor when they decide to walk away. I get to keep my sanity intact. But that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do, I just know that it is normal for people to want something today, and desire a different thing tomorrow. So I do not get too comfortable in that makeshift arrangement. 

People are naturally wired to change over time, and it is those changes that most people cannot understand, or deal with. Hence the break-ups, breakdowns, and bitter quarrels. 

If I were to love, I would focus only on the energy I give up, not the one I expect to receive. 

A newscaster sits in front of the camera in his/her best outfit and fires away, not minding whether your television is on or off, whether you're paying attention or not. They just do what they have signed up to do. 

A radio station will never stop broadcasting because no one is listening. So love completely if you must, but do not expect to be loved in the same proportion if you want to stay happy. 

God who taught us to love, loves us completely even when we are just assholes and smeared in shit. So who are you to expect love because you gave it? 

©JBZ_2020