Jibo Zhema

Growing up I saw how my old lady (mum) would fall sick and be taking injections but still go to work, come home and cook for everybody before retiring to bed - if we allowed it with our noise-making around the house. 🕺🤸🏾‍♀️🤼‍♂️🤾🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♂️ I still remember how she was pregnant with one of my ugly brothers but kept pounding yam for us every Saturday evening because it was an eating ritual we maintained for ages until we grew old enough and took over the pounding. 💪🏾 But whenever my old man took ill, (common headache) he'd become a child and wait for mum to pamper him, feed him, and massage his body with a cold, moist towel. I would always wonder what made him think he was the stronger sex and she was the weaker one. 🤔 A friend told me of how he went into the labour room with his wife but was shipped out on a stretcher because he passed out seeing the amount of pain his wife was going through to give birth to his child. 😟 I have visited construction and mining si...

As I sat in the departure lounge of the Dubai International Airport(DBX) awaiting the announcement of my connecting flight to Abuja, I watched a group of Nigerian ladies (they spoke about attending a party in Abuja the following day) posing for selfies. Many times, I noticed how they posed with their backs to the camera, a flash of the tongue, a pout or something very interesting. I smiled, shook my head and found myself another spot with less noisy Ass-poppers. I hate temptation. 😡 On another occasion, I went shopping at a Mall in Lagos and three gorgeous ladies begged me to kindly use one of their iPhones to take a picture of them as they leaned on the handrails and backed me. I took a photo of the floor and the ceiling and then handed the phone back. What nonsense! Did I look like an ass photographer? 🙄  Last month, I went for another session with my gym instructor and I met him coaching ladies who wanted to have bigger butts. He said they don't come to keep fit, they just wan...

In February of 1980, I was a pupil of Demsawo Primary School in Yola, capital of the defunct Gongola State. I attended a class supervised by my mother at that time and it made me feel a little, you know, princely around the other kids.  Gongola was just 3yrs old after creation and many things weren't fully in place for smooth operations but somehow, life was easy and more organized. People knew the right thing and they did it without being told. Well, that's not why I'm writing this. Being a public school and free at that time, there were all kinds of characters forced to attend school back then(I was one). So the teachers had to look tough enough to keep such kids in check. That was a time when you'd see adults like Nelson Banker in a primary one classroom chewing gum while drawing a penis on the walls. So my mum always went to work with my dad's radio power cable to ensure nobody crossed any unmarked boundaries. I never saw her use it, but no kid ever misbehaved w...