Jibo Zhema

 (the finale)  "Look at this boring housewife calling me a prostitute." Gladys shouted, in reply to Faith.  Gladys had grabbed, kissed, and introduced Uncle Dan to the room as her "baby" when he walked through the door.  It took him a while to realize that Faith, his daughter, was also in the room. Because the elderly "guy-man" had bounced into the room with the intention of "wowing" his chic's friends with his grandpa's swagger. 😎 Faith could not control her emotions, as her head blew a fuse the moment her dad realized he had caused her serious embarrassment. She took out her frustrations on the drunken Gladys.  "It is ladies like you that give us a bad name, you shouldn't have gotten married at all. I pity your husband, and I pray you've not given him any dreaded disease." Faith continued. 😠 On hearing that Gladys had a husband, Uncle Dan locked his fingers and placed his hands on his head. 🙆‍♂️ He sat down, disappo...

  "I suspect my husband is unfaithful to me, but I have a feeling that I am partly responsible for that." Said Mayindi(Magai's wife)  Mayindi assumed that because she's added so much weight, and bossed her husband around like a child, he must have started seeing another woman. She thought Magai didn't complain because he has another woman somewhere who is everything she isn't, and gives him everything she couldn't. She is unaware that the man has actually never looked at another woman lustfully since he married her.  Gladys looked up to the ceiling as though she wanted to be sure the room wasn't spinning around.  "My husband and I are not happily married sha. I sleep around, and he sleeps around too. Last weekend, he almost caught me pants down with one Uncle #Dan, his dad's old friend." She managed to say through slurred sentences. 😖😵 Uncle Dan is Faith's father. But Faith, being a good Christian, doesn't believe her dad is cap...

"Do not get married because you want to wake up to him every day or be with him forever. Get married knowing that marriage is hard, raising kids is hard, debts and bills, relatives, jobs, blending two families and lives is HARD, and he is the one you've chosen to go through bad times with." The old man was telling his oldest daughter #Leema and two of her friends who joined her to celebrate her dad's birthday at Net Café, Asokoro.  "Life is never going to magically be all butterflies and rainbows just because you marry your soulmate. Life is hard and you want to marry and love him every day through every bump in the road. Marry him because you want to be his rock when everything else is falling apart, not another rock on his shoulder." "Don't marry him because it's cute and exciting, marry him because a lifetime of ups and downs with him is worth every second of it." The old man got distracted by the argument ensuing at the counter.  A midd...

  "My wife is b'b'eautiffful, she respects me and takes care of my home v'v'very well. I took to alcohol just to escape her boring company. She doesn't want to develop herself, she thinks being a mother and a wife is the best she can b'b'b'be." John said.  "She doesn't want to get a job or go back to school, she hates reading all the books I've got for her, she doesn't want to even run a b'b'b'business. She thinks it is my responsibility to p'p'provide, and her's to manage." "I can't have a decent c'c'c'conversation with her, because she doesn't even know what's happening in the world." John added, wryly. 😟 "Bros, we are in the same boat on this one." Makai said.  "My own wife sometimes gets confused as to whether she's married to me, or her pastor. She heads straight to church from work daily, and I don't know what her pastor teaches about m...

  "My being single and serially dumping dumb ladies doesn't make me a bad guy", Aji started.  "I have never been unfaithful to any of the ladies I've been with, I just call off the relationship once it doesn't challenge me to become better." "Most of the ladies nowadays are not even ready to discuss their future without mentioning marriage and children, how is that even an achievement please?" 🤔 The old man could see that Aji was deeply troubled in his spirit. So he decided to illuminate his brain on the decisions of settling down with an imperfect person.  "Every relationship will get 'boring" after you've been together for years. Ask your married friends. Love is a feeling, it is a commitment to love every day; physically and emotionally. It is difficult, it is hard, it is not always laughs, smiles, and fun." "People tend to quit when it stops being fun, and they go look for someone else because "the spark is...

  "Any m'm'man who posts sssselfies on Instagram is a 'Brostitute', except if he's p'p'p'promoting a business or a brand. Else, he's only there t't't'to fish for all the empty heads using the App to sell themssssselves to the highest bidder", #John stammered as he staggered out of the bar to answer his wife's phone call.  John Oche is a very successful chartered accountant and a drunk. The only 'person' he speaks well of, is his bottle of beer. No human being is ever deserving of any accolade from this Idoma husband and a father of three. 🙄 On this Friday night, the boys decided to hang out and talk about their decisions to settle, stay faithful, cheat, and remain single.  All seven of them attended the same secondary School in the 90's; FGC Wukari. All married but two, who were also in their 40's already and still finding it hard to accept that they're getting old.  #Magai, was there with his identical ...

  It was a cold night in December, some seven months ago, when Anita received a disturbing phone call from Uncle #Jacob(Chairman), asking why her husband was seeking another employment in the UK.  "What is going on, is there a problem with the company in Nigeria?", he asked. "His job application is right before me, as we speak". The man added.  She felt a whirlwind in her head, she didn't know where this nausea was coming from... "Audu moving to London kuma?", she thought. 🤔 "Uncle, I am honestly unaware", she said, drying her soapy hands on the flowery apron she had on. She was washing the dinner dishes in the kitchen when he called. Audu was on his phone as usual... Chatting and smiling at the brightness of the screen.  She sat down on the kitchen stool and took in everything Uncle Jacob said. In the end, they both agreed to keep it between them, as she was sure her husband will mention it one day.... Well, he didn't. 🙄 Months passed,...

  It was Monday the 13th, Anita dropped Audu off at the International wing of the Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport Abuja, he was to catch the 6am British Airways flight to London on official duty.  Audu had discretely secured another Job with a BP(British Petroleum) affiliate in London, he was using this trip to kill two birds... Attend his official meeting at 727 High Rd, Tottenham, London, on Tuesday. Then go for his new job interview at Twickenham on Thursday.  Doris had moved into their new apartment, lavishly furnished to match his London status, if the interview goes well. Of course, it will go well, Amina, his sister, is the Chairman's side chic. The job was his' as far as he knows. 😏 Doris, an intelligent, good-looking woman, was hugely admired by her landlord's wife, #Lizzy.  Lizzy, 45, lived in the second flat. She can't wait to flash her golden brown teeth every time she sees Doris around the house. She wants to be friends with the younger lady, but Doris didn't l...

#Audu and #Anita have been married for over three years, a perfect family, with two cute sons.  Driving home after a fiery Sunday service at Gwarimpa, Anita broke the silence with a question, "Why did you marry me?" 🤔 "Here we go again," Audu thought, rolling his eyes in his head. 🙄 "Because you were the sexiest girl I've seen", he replied carelessly. 😏 She thought for a moment and smiled. She knew he was lying because almost all his exes were sexier. Audu married her because her dad owned the oil company he consulted for.  "So... Why did yooo marry me? " Audu asked jokingly,  as he turned the car towards the Suleja Expressway, they live around Kubwa.  "Because you were the only one who never complained about my size". Anita had dreamt of being a First Lady because she grew up admiring Maryam Abacha on television. She wanted to be famous for something, by marrying the right man... Perhaps.  She knew Audu was the wrong man, but no...

  "What really happened to him?" The doctor enquired from Peter and Nafisa, as he was doing everything to resuscitate the unconscious Hon. Musa.  The Springfield Hospital along the Yola Airport road, is the hospital for the super-rich in Yola. With a state-of-the-art ER and a highly professional staff, the hospital was where Nafisa delivered all her children. So the Chief Medical Director knew them personally and has all their Medical records.  Dr. Agyo is one of the top medical consultants in the State, a one-time Commissioner of Health, and had on several occasions tried to have an affair with Nafisa.  He noticed a drop of blood in Hon. Musa's ear and asked if he was hit on the head or something.  "He just got back from a long trip, I heard him come into the house through the guest wing. So I went out to welcome him, and that was when I found him lying face down by the door. I immediately called his P. A. Peter to rush over and help me bring him to the hospita...

It was a dinner party organized by The Boss(SSG) to celebrate His Excellency, the Governor's victory at the Election Petitions Tribunal. The Guest House was abuzz with the Who is Who in Gongola State.  Three Hiace busses had been sent to the State University to fetch Slay-Queens as escorts for the dignitaries who usually do not need their Social media/Television-addicted wives for these kinds of gatherings.  It was more of a political gathering since almost all the vehicles parked outside carried a GHY, GGSG, or GGHA registration (plate number). A loud chorus of fake laughter keeps coming from the corner where the Governor sat with his main guys.  The Boss had asked Hadiza to be his date for the night. She couldn't say no to the anticipation of another dollar rain. Hon. Musa had traveled to represent the Speaker of the House at an event in far away Donga Local Govt. Area, so he wasn't going to be a problem tonight.  The Boss was beside the Governor when someone asked...

As Hadiza walked across the lawn toward the swimming pool area in her new Zebra-striped bikini, the carpet grass around the area stood erect upon sighting her. Yes, she was that sexy. 👌 Even the Suya man on the barbecue stand slumped in his chair and shouted "SUB'HANALLAHI", as he watched her majestically catwalk into the arena. 😳 All the pot-bellied men under the gazebo stopped communicating at once and all fixated on this tall, dark-skinned, voluptuous model catwalking toward the pool, covering her eyes with LV sunglasses. 😎 One of the men, whom they called "The Boss", quickly threw his left thigh over the right, and dropped a throw pillow on his Government House area(crotch). 🤷‍♂️ Peter walked in behind her, holding more wine bottles that he'd been asked to buy. He gestured to an empty bench for her to sit and wait for Hon. Musa, who was just a few paces behind them.  She tried to remain calm, the eyes were piercing through her soul. She'd never w...

  "Why in heaven are you wasting your money in a gym class when you have a perfect body shape like an hourglass?" Said Honorable #Musa after an aerobics session at the Ribadu Square Gym Hall, where he spent the entire time admiring the ASSet of the lady who was positioned right in front of him. 👀 #Hadiza, a 28yr old student of the State University has been trying to work on her bulging tummy. All her fitted, skimpy clothes no longer look good on her body... Her young boyfriend #Peter, keeps telling her that she needs to stop taking all the chocolates, carbonated drinks, and eating carbs late at night. "If you want a skinny girl, go get yourself a skinny girl. Only real men handle chubby girls", would be her response to him whenever he fired his body-shaming shots. ✌ Hon. Musa Girei is the Deputy Speaker of the State's House of Assembly. Married to a gorgeous lady, with whom they have five beautiful children. His wife, #Nafisa has been warding off male "toa...