WHAT IS LOVE? (2)

In 2008, I got a huge construction contract in the North at about the same time a friend got over a billion Naira dredging contract in the South. I used to joke about it that "we were made for life".

We told ourselves that, only a fool would go broke after hitting this kind of jackpot in one lifetime. 

After my job was completed, I decided to start a table water factory in Jalingo. My concept for packaging was something revolutionary. 

After my friend's contract ended, he'd made well over #100m Naira in profits, and his only goal as of then was to get married to the love of his life. 

I built my factory, traveled to Lagos, and brought the whole production line in just a matter of months. Something which takes some people a lifetime to build. 

My friend spent nearly all his earnings on planning the wedding of the century. I'd never seen real diamonds before until he showed me the bride's jewelry box. Damn, I was jealous. 😐

By 2011, I'd sold my entire production line to finance a failed political ambition. 

My friend's marriage had also collapsed, and he was already in love with another lady who had to accept him as a poor guy. 

We were both back to being the fools we were four years prior. 

Now, if I didn't love the factory, I wouldn't have gone through all that to set it up. But selling her was easy because I thought I found another love in politics. 

This also means, my good friend had invested his money and emotions in the wrong venture. Since it was also easy for him to just walk away and find another lover.

To profess love is the easiest thing to do since words can form the sleekest lines known to man. Women love to hear those. And men have perfected the art of minting sweet words. 

The way babies are naturally attracted to candies, that's how women are wired to crave sweet words.

"Damn, you're the sexiest woman I've seen"

"Your smile magically dries my throat"

"Where on earth have you been all my life"

"You make me the best version of me"

"If I could have a girl like you, Angel Gabriel can go ahead and blow the trumpet, I am ready to die"

Words that were told to the Ex, and would still be told to the Next. 

Sometimes I believe that men lie because women crave certain affections which do not genuinely flow from a willing heart. 

You can't wear too much make-up like a masquerade and expect me to lie that you're beautiful. 😏

But since it makes you happy, I'd tell you exactly what you want to hear. A Lie. "Wooow, you're getting prettier every day. Dunno why God chose my life to bless with this much beauty". 😐

The point I am trying to make is, Love, is not found in words. Words only describe what love should be. 

People can even stand before God and exchange vows they don't mean. See? 🤔

Marriage is also not love. Because if it were, there wouldn't be anything like divorce. 

So why do we sometimes feel that we cannot do without certain people in our lives? People who can do very well without us in theirs. 

Is it because of the things they say to us that make us feel special or the things they do for us that we cannot do for ourselves? 

Why must I become a slave to emotions just because I must have someone in my life? 

Someone who may not necessarily need me, but just wants me for certain purposes. 

I will not approach you unless you have something I need. 

Maybe I want my kids to be as cute or as smart as you. 

Maybe I see your potential, and I think you could help and push me toward greatness as you chase yours. 

Maybe you are damn gorgeous and I just want to flaunt us for public admiration. 

Maybe it is just the amazing sex. 

Maybe I am lazy and poor, you are rich and hardworking, so I need you to foot my bills forever. 

But how much of all that, is Love? 

If I loved my passion, I would have still owned a table water factory today. 

If my friend truthfully loved the wife he blew over fifty million Naira to wed, they'd still be married today. 

We rush relationships just the way I rushed my factory. Where is it today? 

We claim our relationship is going to be the best and a longstanding one, just like I bragged I would never go broke again. 

We allow that spur-of-the-moment emotion to fool us into thinking, THIS IS IT. 

If we genuinely confessed to loving all our exes, why aren't we still with them? 

Yeah, most of you would blame them for the breakup. But at that time, you thought they loved you back genuinely until they changed and left you. 

Words are not Emotions. Don't always fall for them. 

Finally, it is wrong to want to copy what we see in other relationships. You are not them, you can't be like them. Your peculiar circumstance may require fewer words and more action, to flourish. Do not force your partner to lie to you because others are doing it. 

If your Ex treated you like a Prince/Princess, this is not your Ex. You can't expect everybody to treat you the same, no two people are wired the same. 

This is why some people will leave you to marry someone else and still fall back to you for certain gratifications. 

Different people meet different needs for different people.

Someone wants a prayerful wife but gets great sex from another. 

Someone wants a dull slay Queen for a wife but enjoys the intellectual conversations with his ugly side chic. 

You can never be everything to a person, the sooner you accept that, the easier it will be for you to settle into the changes that will occur in the future. 

When you think she is your ideal woman, ask yourself if you are her ideal man. 

This means, most couples are just MANAGING/TOLERATING each other. 

Is that what LOVE really is? 

TO BE CONTINUED.... 

©JBZ_2020