WHAT IS LOVE? (3)

I once met a girl who seemed to understand me. She wasn't really pretty like that, but damn! She was smart. And there I was, suffering from a chronic sapiosexuality disorder, like a fly on honey, I easily got glued to her personality. 

We could talk about everything, and laugh at the dumbest things. There were nights we didn't sleep at all, either chatting on BBM or talking on the phone till dawn. Either way, there was a strong connection. 

We talked about the ideal relationship and what made it so. 

We talked about the sacrifices, the struggles, the hurt, and the strong desire to make it work regardless. 

We sorta knew why most relationships failed; LACK OF COMMUNICATION AND UNDERSTANDING. 

The respect was on another level, we no dey miss each other's call o. Even if we did, the call-back was in a matter of seconds. Whenever I ran out of airtime in the middle of a call, I got an automatic top-up from her account. And I also did the same, when my poverty is on annual leave. 

All the stars and planets in the universe have aligned for a perfect relationship to be birthed. 

Until the devil pushed me to ask her out. 😐

She didn't say NO, but she told me something... 

"From this moment on, everything we once shared will change. I will stop being pretty, smart, and interesting to you. You will begin to see through me, that I am not perfect after all. And those imperfections will begin to irritate you. In the end, all the laughter, and sweetness will start to burn low, or burn out." 🤔🤔

But since Jibo had a Ph.D. in the minting of pick-up lines, I dissolved her fears with, "You're not flying alone, babe. I am your co-pilot now, and there is no storm in the world we can't weather together. Just trust me as I do you, and we would never crash-land."

One week down the line, the midnight calls have drastically reduced. I found that I actually had more important things to do, so why waste all that time on a phone call, talking about nothing when I could be doing some paperwork or sleeping early so I could get up on time for an early morning appointment? I started finding excuses to dodge the long, meaningless calls. 

I started to deliberately miss the calls too. How could I be with my buddies and start answering questions like, "Have you eaten, what did you eat, who made it, was it nice, who are you with, do they know me, why are you sounding official...?" 🙄

Questions that used to make sense to me o. But I knew it was the devil's work, he wanted me to remain single so that I would be stealing flowers from people's gardens when I could actually grow mine. 🙄

One month down the line, the fights have started. Of course, she would complain about the changes, and as a man, I am wired to start a fight whenever a woman wants to discuss anything emotion-related. 

All the things she foresaw, became our reality. I hated myself for initially asking her out, I shouldn't have. I wasn't ready for the relationship. I had just jumped into it because I thought our lives synced somehow and thought we were too experienced to crash. 🤷‍♂️

This was a lady I honestly loved(or so I thought), but the intensity of my feelings could not sustain the relationship for too long. We broke up because I got tired of putting her through this whole emotionally draining episode. 

Remember my attraction to her wasn't physical, it was deeper than that. But check out how a connection that solid could wither in a matter of weeks just because I decided to fall in love. 😐

I don't think all beautiful friendships should end in a relationship. That's how I don't believe every beautiful relationship must end in marriage. 

Sometimes what we call love ruins beautiful relationships faster than acid corrodes metal. Once that word is flashed, a lot of things begin to change. 

It's either we are saying it to the wrong person, at the wrong moment, or we are just repeating after the other person. "I love you too".

No matter how smart you think you are, try falling in love and see. You'd start saying and doing the most stupid things ever, for someone who may not necessarily be feeling you. 

Their lies become sweeter than the gospel, their mistakes do not even exist in your mind. Their welfare begins to mean more to you than your own life. These are people who may be looking for the slightest excuse to leave you. 

When men are tired of relationships, they just poke holes in everything a lady does, trying to find faults where none existed. Just as a simple phone call to check up on me, got me pissed for some egotistic reasons. 

Women, on the other hand, allow love to benumb their senses. So they give their all to a man, making him feel like a local champion. If he doesn't call or text, she's worried and starts trying to reach him. Dude might even be in a bilateral meeting with the other chic. 🙄

Exactly nine years ago today, I posted on Facebook that, "LOVE IS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN YOU ARE NOT MARRIED", almost all my friends disagreed with me. 

They thought I was anti-marriage, one silly friend even said I "must be a serious philanderer." 😡

But whenever you find new love, it is unbelievably mind-blowing. You'd ultimately hand over your life to them. Even your sanity and happiness could depend on it for a while. 

The attention, the gifts, the romance, the devotion.... Everything is on point, and then you commit your future to this person. That's when you begin to see the fool, the lies, the clumsiness, ugliness, the lack of vision, and intellectual sagacity. Then you ask yourself, "What was I thinking?"

Why do you think we suddenly get tired of those we once professed to love? 

Does it mean we never really loved, or we weren't quite just ready for the commitment? 

I once read somewhere that good things last longer and could stand the test of time, like a German car. Love(as we see it) was supposed to be a good thing, why doesn't it last in most cases? 

Maybe what we call love is an inferior version of what we should actually be sharing. Something stronger, deeper, and more profound. 

Maybe every couple needs to invent what suits them, their own version of love. Not what is seen on the internet, or in Hollywood romantic movies. 

It shouldn't be about long phone calls, birthdays, Valentine's day, expected gifts, spending good times together, or Instagram relationship goals. I am thinking love is more than what it is EXPECTED to be. 

Expectations... Let's do that in the next episode. 

TO BE CONTINUED.... 

©JBZ_2020