WHAT IS LOVE? (5)

"Do you truly love me?" She searched my eyes for answers. But I am always without emotions, so my face couldn't express anything. 

She wanted to know why we had dated for about a year yet I wasn't willing to put a ring on it. 

To her, the ring was a sign that I honestly loved her. But the problem was, I honestly didn't even know what I felt for her. It definitely wasn't enough for me to commit in just twelve months (if I ever had any plans to). 

"Listen, I don't know what your definition of LOVE is, but if it is tied to that shiny ring you put on a finger, a hurried desire to commit, or the whole"meet my family" drama, then I don't think I love you."

She went on to tell me how her younger sister met her husband and got married in six months, and how her best friend is preparing to get married to a fellow Corps Member she met three months prior in the orientation camp. But we have dated for about a year (we've mostly only talked on the phone because we lived in different timezones then) yet I kept saying we were still strangers. 🙄

She dumped me and got married to a Senator's aide five months after.😢😢

She didn't even care to tell me, I just saw the beautiful wedding photos on the internet. Damn, I was jealous. 😏😏

She was from a very wealthy home, so my friends and siblings believed I was cursed to have missed out on such a huge jackpot. But I didn't care. I knew I was destined for greatness too, so? 😩

After a while, the husband's boss lost his reelection bid, and her handsome, high-profile husband was soon out of his job. That was when she started blaming me for pushing her into marrying the man she now calls irresponsible. 🤔

Apparently, the young man wasn't ready but just saw an opportunity to marry the daughter of a high-profile politician, who in her mind thought his fine looks, sweet tongue, and flamboyant lifestyle were her ticket to a Happily Ever After. 

Told her to stop texting me if her marriage or husband was the only topic for discussion because I know women.... once he falls into some cool millions now, the story would definitely change. 🙄

She disrespected him a lot, called him names, and sent all his siblings away from the house because her salary was not for feeding some jobless adults who do nothing but watch football every time. Women hate lazy men. 😏

In the course of my money-hunting in Abuja, I met my Ex's now Ex husband through a friend who didn't know I was his friend's Ex wife's Ex. 🤔

So as we dissolved into the usual rhetoric about Life and its difficulty, my friend mentioned that his wife was a pain in the ass and how I was the smart one among them for never even entertaining the subject of marriage. 

I abhor how married men would shamelessly wave their marital problems in public like a hand fan. Some will even be telling their side chic how they made a mistake settling with the mother of their children. 😠😠😠

Well, we all got talking then this guy, my Ex's Ex, started telling his story. The story of how he foolishly yielded to pressure from his Ex-wife, to settle when he actually wasn't prepared to be a husband. 

Ladies have the ability to block their eyes and ears to reason when they feel they have finally found love. They don't care if you're poor, short, fat, ugly, or even flat-assed like me. They are just ready for the question. 

90% of ladies can love a man before they even know any truth about him. They don't care. What they already know is enough to form an opinion about their future with this man. And once that is reached, the world can go to hell. 

I was not only poor and scavenging at that time, I wasn't mentally ripe for marriage. Love didn't permit her to see that. 

But what would we have survived on? Love? 

I had certain expectations of myself, and I wasn't going to let Love or Marriage stand in the way of my goals. But she wasn't ready to think goals or aspirations that didn't put marriage (to her) in the center of the picture. 

Young men are constantly pressured into marriage, as it is the only way their love is tested. Because it is believed that if you loved deeply, you'd act quickly. But what is the rationale behind the Action?

Love? Which does not put money in your pocket. 

Words? Which do not put food on the table. 

Romance? Which does not put a roof over your head. 

Or Time? Which when rushed can hardly yield anything good. 

It is useless to start or be in a relationship without knowing the direction it's heading. But it is more useless to want marriage from the beginning of any relationship. Yes, I'm confused too. 🤔

Just don't allow yourself to fall for the glitterati, real love isn't loud or even seen by the naked eye. It is felt by the "lovee". 

Just like my dad has never told me he loved me, but I hear it in his voice whenever we talked. And I may never be able to say those three words to him till he dies, but he knows that I can sell my useless balls to buy him another life if I could. 

So, my people, love is not found in someone's shiny eyes, voluptuous body, amazing company, or mesmerizing tongue. 

Love is not achieved when you rush another person into committing or force them into settling because your biological clock is ticking. 

True love is what is shared between a man and his pet dog. The animal doesn't need to hear the love, it feels the energy, sticks with you forever, and will happily give its life to protect you from harm. 

So, if you must hear it to believe it, then you are not as smart as you think. 

Love is ACTION. 

Love is SACRIFICE. 

Love is your JOY, your SANITY, and your individual JOURNEY. 

Do not start if you don't have the courage to go at it alone should no one have the ability to mirror your emotions. 

THE END!!! 

©JBZ_2020