MANUSCRIPT FROM UKARI(3)

 

"My wife is b'b'eautiffful, she respects me and takes care of my home v'v'very well. I took to alcohol just to escape her boring company. She doesn't want to develop herself, she thinks being a mother and a wife is the best she can b'b'b'be." John said. 

"She doesn't want to get a job or go back to school, she hates reading all the books I've got for her, she doesn't want to even run a b'b'b'business. She thinks it is my responsibility to p'p'provide, and her's to manage."

"I can't have a decent c'c'c'conversation with her, because she doesn't even know what's happening in the world." John added, wryly. 😟

"Bros, we are in the same boat on this one." Makai said. 

"My own wife sometimes gets confused as to whether she's married to me, or her pastor. She heads straight to church from work daily, and I don't know what her pastor teaches about marriage." Makai added, frustratingly dropping his wine glass on the glass table. 

"I tried to talk her out of it, but she thinks I'm the devil and can never understand the blessings her church activities bring to our home. I gave her #5m to start a business last year, she offered it to her pastor as sowing a seed." This time he was angry. 

As he looked to the corner, his father-in-law and Gladys were no longer there. He stood up and scanned the entire area. 

"Who are you looking for?" Asked Moses. 

"Nobody" he answered quickly and sat down. 

"Strange" Moses thought. So he tried to scan the area himself, and then he saw his Dad's friend on the dancefloor dancing with a lady who wore the same dress he got for his wife when they visited Seychelles last summer. He smiled and thought of his wife at home. "I'm gonna get her pregnant once I get home tonight", he thought, while trying to hide the erection from his nosy friends. 🍆

"My wife is an Angel" Jibrin stirred the silence. 

"She is everything you'd want in a wife. Prayerful, smart, pretty, hardworking, a good mother, neat, and ambitious. But, I find myself wanting more sex, which she complains to be too much."

"This is why I'm considering bringing home a second wife. The last time we talked about it, she said I can go ahead, but deep in her eyes, I saw hurt. It'll break her." Jibrin said as he fetched another stick of cigarette from the pack. 

"I wish I had a wife like yours", Aji said. 

"I'd never think of another woman again. I don't even want the sex that much, I just need an understanding woman who knows when to put the right foot forward." 🤷‍♂️

"I know one day I'll get married, but I am afraid if her character changes from the person I married, she's leaving my house." He added. 

Everybody laughed at the last part. They all know him for not mincing words. But he wasn't joking. 

The old man had listened to their stories, as he focused on his cold beer. He'd downed four bottles already since he joined their table. 

.............................................

"You see, your generation is responsible for the mess in our world today. You get married for the wrong reasons, and you insist on raising kids based on your already flawed foundation. Forgetting that the family is a microcosm of the larger society. You can't be lying and cheating and expect society to be perfect" The old man said, this time he seemed drunk. 😖

"Society has placed so much importance on marriage, that people would do just about anything to do it. Most of you deceived each other into settling. Some of you, did it because you felt age was no longer on your side, or that you got a house and a car, so you must have a wife. Others did it because they loved kids, but ended up not having any."

"And because you are seen as irresponsible when you're unmarried or divorced, some of you will remain glued to the same person who would be the cause of your eternal unhappiness and eventual death."

"My wife and I have been married for well over 50yrs, we started early and faced very few challenges because we didn't have social media. We were honest with each other and had respect for our parents. We had no choice but to honour our vows, else our families would disown us."

"I fart a lot when I'm tensed, and that cracks her up big time. So whenever I got her angry, I dig deep to find the fart somewhere in my stomach, and I release it with all of my strength... She must laugh, and I'll blame her for it. We will make up, and move on." 😂🤣

"You guys think women don't have feelings at all, you talk to them anyhow because you manage to pay the bills at home. Well, they are sacrificing a lot to live with idiots like you. They are actually doing you a huge favour by making you look responsible when you're not."

"Some of you would complain about their weight as though you haven't changed, and still looked the way she first met you." 🙄

"You left them at home to deal with your bullshit, yet you are here drinking and running your mouths about how you want them to be. Have you ever asked them how they wanted you to be?" His eyes peered through all of them. 

"Some of them had better options, and still have better men trying to woo them daily, but they respect their vows and are stuck with your cheating asses, so don't ever make them regret their decision." 😒

"J'J'Jesus!" John exclaimed when his eyes caught a glimpse of Gladys leaving the bar with an elderly man whose hand rested on her big butt. 

Makai quickly stepped on his toe in an attempt to shut him up. But this is John, you can't shut him up. 

"B'b'bros, somebody wan go shhhift ya wife womb ooo." He said, grabbing Moses' hand. 🙆‍♂️

Moses laughed at the joke, Makai also laughed and called John an idiot. But John wasn't smiling. So Moses turned around and saw the couple as they disappeared through the door. 

"That's my dad's best friend, I saw him with the lady dancing earlier. These old men sef. Gladys has the same dress, but she isn't this tall." Moses said as he returned his gaze to the table. 

John got up and dashed towards the exit. He hates being proved wrong. 

"Gladys!" He shouted. 

She turned, alarmed. 😲

"What are you doing here? We were right there with your husband. He didn't even believe it was you." John yelled. 

The elderly man stepped aside, visibly wobbly from too much drinking. 

"Please don't tell him it was me you saw, if you do I'll have to tell him about us too." 🙆‍♂️

It was last February, Moses was out of town for a fake assignment, but he actually wanted to spend Valentine's day with another lady in Gwagwalada. Gladys ran into John and his wife at an eatery in Wuse2. So as he dropped her off, she invited him inside to help fix a light bulb. Leaving his wife in the car, he went in and got some Valentine's cookie as an electrician. He regretted it though and blamed it on the alcohol. 🤷‍♂️

"It wasn't Gladys," John said as he took his seat. Makai was shocked that John lied for the first time. 🤔

Ahmadu asked to foot the bills for tonight. It was almost 4am. 

"If you want to be an honourable man and respected by all, be decisive. Focus on one woman and stop philandering about. Marriage will not stop you from sleeping around, but nobody would respect you for doing so." The old man told Ahmadu. 

"I'd love for you t't'to meet our wives if you'd agree. Make it look like it wasn't p'p'planned. Just talk to them like this. I want my wife to learn to challenge herself, I'm tired of seeing her wasting away like that in the name of marriage." John suggested. All the other guys agreed. They will arrange for their wives to have lunch together next week, and the old man would be placed there before their arrival. 

What most of them do not know, is the secrets their wives are keeping could ruin their marriage completely. 

Ahmadu started thinking of whom to invite for the lunch, Aji just knew he had no business with that whole arrangement. 

Moses got home and Gladys wasn't in their bed. But her car was still in the garage though. 

"I'm sure she's in the other room, lemme grab a shower and go transfer Junior into his new home for the next nine months." He thought to himself. 🏃‍♂️🕺🍆

TO BE CONTINUED... 

#FICTION 

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