MANUSCRIPT FROM UKARI(4)

"Do not get married because you want to wake up to him every day or be with him forever. Get married knowing that marriage is hard, raising kids is hard, debts and bills, relatives, jobs, blending two families and lives is HARD, and he is the one you've chosen to go through bad times with." The old man was telling his oldest daughter #Leema and two of her friends who joined her to celebrate her dad's birthday at Net Café, Asokoro. 

"Life is never going to magically be all butterflies and rainbows just because you marry your soulmate. Life is hard and you want to marry and love him every day through every bump in the road. Marry him because you want to be his rock when everything else is falling apart, not another rock on his shoulder."

"Don't marry him because it's cute and exciting, marry him because a lifetime of ups and downs with him is worth every second of it." The old man got distracted by the argument ensuing at the counter. 

A middle-aged lady, in the company of her friends, was telling the manager that her husband had reserved a table for six, while the manager was trying to explain that the whole space was paid for by the old man who was expecting guests to celebrate his birthday.

Leema stepped forward and apologized to the ladies, and invited them to sit with them as the guests they reserved the spaces for, had called to cancel. 

"Today is my father's birthday, so I wanted to throw him a surprise party, but got disappointed. Feel free to sit with us, drinks are on me." Leema told the ladies who had already started raining insults on the poor manager. 🤷‍♂️

After all the introductions were made, they sat around the table, and a birthday cake 🎂 idled beside the celebrant. 

"Leema here is my eldest daughter. And these two friends of hers were quizzing her about marriage, so I was giving them a little lecture from an old book I'd read about marriage." The old man said. 

"What book is that?" #Aisha(Jibrin's sharp wife) asked. She was going to Google it and see if he knew his onions. She does that all the time, you can't lie about anything to this one, except if it's not on the internet. 👌

"Manuscript From Ukari, you can't find it anywhere else in the world, as I have the only copy. It's a book that answers almost every question about marriage and relationships." Answered the old man. 

Their drinks arrived, and they pulled out their phones and started swiping and chatting without communicating with each other. 😒

"One of the main problems with your generation is the GSM. You all have it, but do not know how to communicate with one another." The man said. 

"In my days, we wrote letters, we travel a whole day just to keep in touch, and damn, we communicated frequently. Your generation uses the GSM to communicate more with those who aren't really important in your lives. Leaving the most important people craving your attention." Now, this got their attention. 😐

#Ochanya(John's full-time housewife) stared at the old man for a moment and said, "if I don't call my husband, he doesn't even remember I have a cell phone. I guess this is what marriage does, everything is never what you expected it to be, but you just accept it and move on."

"God forbid" #Mayindi(Magai's wife) interjected. 

"I can't tolerate that Ooo. He must call me every now and then or he should just sleep at the house of whomever he's been calling." She said, banging the table. 

"Some of you have never really been wives to your husbands since they married you." The old man said as he used a tissue to wipe his oily mouth. 

"Your pastors know you more than your spouses do. You can tell them just about everything, but you can't have a deep conversation with your husbands. So what do you want them to tell you over the phone?" He asked. 

Now #Faith(Makai's church-going wife) felt poked. She can miss calls for Africa, all in the name of church activities. The husband doesn't even waste his time calling anymore, she won't answer. 

"The bible said, Seek ye first the kingdom of God..." 

"Oh please!" Gladys(Moses' Slay Queen) raised a hand and stopped her right there before she started preaching as always. 

"Women are the smartest until they fall in love." Said the old man. 

"Given the chance, most women won't remarry their husbands. But at one time, you thought they were angels, the smartest and sweetest men in the entire world. You saw a bright future with them. Some of you went against your families and friends to marry your husbands, because, at that time, Love blinded you from the obvious."

"Ladies usually have big dreams, tall ambitions, but all that gives way immediately you get married, because to you, having kids and running a home is more important than chasing your dreams. Well, you can still do both if you were smarter." He stopped and reached for a glass of water. 

................................................

"Sex is the most important thing for me to remain happy in the marriage, if I'm not getting it, I can't pretend to be happily married," Gladys said without minding who was there. 😂😂

"I can't continue to be starved because my husband is always tired or not in the mood. That is the only way I feel loved, please." She stressed further. 

The other ladies laughed, but the old man didn't. He understood her frustration. 

"Was the sex why you married him?" He asked. 

"Well, it was a BIIIIG part of it". She answered. Describing how big with her hands. They all laughed at her again. 😂

"Marriage is like a business partnership and both parties are expected to contribute something for its growth and stability, if sex is your only contribution then your business will always register losses." The old man began... 

"Many of you have no idea that the Law of Diminishing Marginal Utility(Google it 🙄) applies to sex as well. The more sex a man has, the less satisfaction he derives, but it is not so for you ladies."

"If you cannot find a balance with your partner, then crisis and cheating are inevitable. You must do this in order to avoid starving or overusing your partner sexually."

"Hmmmmmm" Aisha sighed. "I am a victim of my husband's high sexual appetite, and I honestly cannot keep up with that stress after a long day at work, house chores, and emotional stress. I feel violated every time he insists on having his way." 

"My case is a reversal of yours. John does not even look at me sexually anymore." Ochanya told Aisha. 

"Hahahaha... I am not comfortable talking about this in the presence of my daughter, but you need to understand that our bodies and minds work differently at different times." Said the old man. 

"The beginning of everything is usually intense and beautiful, the urge is always fiery and consuming. When the man begins to get bored sexually, he looks for another beginning with another person. Except, of course, he is of a disciplined breed. But the partner who no longer satisfies you sexually becomes a stallion when they meet a new lover. And you'd be shocked to see them do all the things they haven't done with you."

"That's why sex should never be a determining factor when you're deciding on settling. The appetite for it will never be balanced as you grow older together. One's diminishes as the other's increases." He further buttressed the point. 

"I have dated this guy for ten years, suffered with him, sacrificed for him, did almost everything for him, but he got married to another lady last year. I did everything he wanted, so what can you say about that?" #Mercy(Leema's friend) asked. 

"A man can love you and still not marry you." Answered the old man, as he sliced the birthday cake with a knife. 

"A man can have sex with you for years without marrying you. But immediately he finds someone who brings Stability into his life, he marries her. Stability means "Peace of Mind". I have heard guys say, "I love her, but I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with her".

"When men think about marriage, they don't think about sex, wedding dresses, bridesmaids, the color of the day, hall decorations, cute babies, or all the fanciful nonsense ladies save on their phones nowadays. They think whether this woman can build me a home, can she take care of my kids and I if I suffered a stroke tomorrow? Can she give me Peace of Mind?"

"Men don't like ladies who give them discomfort. This is why men leave a 5-10 year relationships, turn around and get married to a woman he's known for six months. And does all the things his ex always begged him to do."

"Word of advice, stop preaching to these men, they hear you. He's not going to ever be the man you want him to be because you're not the woman he wants to be with. People change for who they want. Period!" Now all the ladies were consumed with thoughts of whether they are the one their husbands wanted to be with. 

"Maybe that's why all my husband's friends wanna bang me. They keep telling me how they've made the wrong choices." Gladys allowed the red wine 🍷control her tongue and "shake the table"😲

"Which friends?" Faith quickly asked on behalf of the other spooked wives. 🤔🤔

TO BE CONTINUED... 

#FICTION 

©JBZ_2020