BUILDING GRAMMAR

 I recently visited a friend who has a toddler of about a year old, and "the boy can disturb." 😡

If he was not dragging my phone, he'd be trying to snatch my glass of water to play with.

When he finally broke the glass, I didn't waste any time teaching him the kinda lessons I received as an innocent child back in the day. (Yes, I didn't steal the meat from the pot but all my siblings denied it, so I just owned up to the crime so that our mum wouldn't waste all day asking) 🙄

After I smacked the child and he started wailing and rolling on the ground, I was tempted to pick up my "Slipper" and finish what I had started but his dad quickly jumped in and snatched the kid. But that is not today's subject.

I watched how the dad made funny noises to keep him quiet. "Bugabugabuga, chichichichi, lolololo," and making faces in a failed attempt to shut his stubborn child up. The mother said she doesn't beat her children, and I was like, "no wonder the kid is this foolish at one." Turning my architect friend into a circus clown. 😡

Now, this is the main issue. 👌🏾

Why do we think that toddlers don't understand when we speak to them? 🤔

Why do we have to be clowning around them while using useless and meaningless words to communicate with them? 🤔

At one, my youngest brother, Zhema, could speak my dialect like an old man because our mother didn't have time for nonsense. At four, I could read the newspaper because that was the only punishment that seemed to have any effect on me. 😒

When I see the graduation/thanksgiving messages our graduands post in the euphoria of finally getting a college degree, I curse their faulty educational background. 😢

Some of them graduated top of their class but could not write a single paragraph well, and I wonder if they were taught in their mother tongue. 🤷🏽‍♂️

If in the formative years of a child, parents feed them nonsense, it remains in their head forever.

These graduates become teachers and get paid to instill the same nonsense into other people's children. 🤬

Another friend of mine would always call his children on the phone to greet me, and I noticed they spoke terribly like their father who doesn't allow them to speak vernacular at home. They are learning what he learned from the faulty foundation he had received as a child. 😢

I've seen many viral videos of kids who could spell words at one or communicate with their parents like adults. Some even used strong vocabulary to pass their message across, as Eld. Seth Ikaa's grandchildren would. 👌🏾

I think that it is high time we started making deliberate efforts to learn the art of communicating well and clearly. If an idiot like me cannot employ anyone who doesn't speak and write well, imagine what multinational organizations would require.

There are certain people whose posts I do not even bother reading because of the fear of getting shot, and there are quite a few who get my attention even if the post makes no sense.

Most of the politicians holding or vying for offices in Nigeria had this shaky communication foundation hammered into their heads as children, and now they will get (re)elected to become our collective national embarrassment. 🤬😡

It is still possible to unlearn everything and start afresh. Use the internet to learn how to articulate your thoughts before making them go viral because you are eager to post something and receive likes and comments.

If my child doesn't come out from its mother speaking fluent English, I'm having a DNA test carried out immediately. "I cannot come and be raising my gateman's child." 🙄

©JBZ_2022